Tuesday, October 5, 2010


Ali knew this was possibly a mistake. Showing up, here to see Casey, but when they talked last night he sounded as if he wanted her to meet the rest of the guys. Of course, they'd been in bed then, and he was possibly a little drunk. OK, really drunk.

It was bliss. He alone was intoxicating. And well, she'd hung around after the show. Then there was a party and she went along with some other guys that possibly didn't remember her. She didn't want to be remembered. Exactly. Because if they did remember her, it was usually a groan. And she was expecting one now.

But then Casey had been so kind to her. She told him she was his biggest fan. He got a laugh out of that while nursing a beer. They were sitting then around a camp fire. And he talked about what inspired him. He asked her if she was writing any of this down. Maybe she'd want to publish it. She only smiled. Thinking he was nothing like she'd expected. He seemed so honest and humble and really kind of lonely. Maybe as lonely as she was. But he drank more and he sat with her. She didn't want to get up or he might notice parts of her that she didn't want to uncover.

And then it happened. He sort of fell on her. And they kissed. And she was in shock. It was such a slow kiss, a wonderful kiss. She had kiss him back. She had too. Then it seemed to multiply. Perhaps, she only wanted to see how far it might go. She had to see this through. It was like a dream. A beautiful dream that ended up at his place.

"I just..just..wanted ...to..to thank you for being my biggest fan." He told her in his bed, and she'd been smiling ever since then.

She knew she shouldn't be here, but she had to see him again. She had to see the real Casey who wasn't drunk. As if a shock of reality would drive her away. Diminish what hopes were there, that this could be the real thing when she knew deep down, she just wanted to hurt herself more. She knew Casey didn't want her. How could he love a girl like her?


ayşegül said...

i like drunk men :Pp

meg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ellie said...

Wow, she really is a fan.

molly said...

She sounds troubled.

meg said...

I feel kind of sad for her. Maybe.