Wednesday, April 17, 2013

not out of sight

Connor didn't get it. Spencer had other people living here. Why couldn't he stay?

"Must we get into this right now?" Spencer looked at him a bit perturbed. He was trying to get a grade schooler to bed.

"I don't want to fight about it." Connor sighed. He hadn't came all this way to be a spoiled brat, but things were not perfect at the dorm. He really hated his roommate. Connor wasn't sure he could talk about it, until things were quiet. "I just want to talk."

"All right." Spencer told him he'd be back in a few minutes.

Connor looked over at who was on the couch. She looked like death warmed over. Who ever she was, went through something. Connor didn't mean to scowl, but what was Spencer running here? A half way house?

"What happened to you?" He couldn't help but ask. He hoped who ever did this, wasn't coming back?

"This is what happens when you have a bad boyfriend." She said ever so carefully. She didn't move from the couch.

"So..where is he now?" Connor edged another question.

"Hopefully, he's still in jail." She looked so sleepy.

Connor took a seat and tried to eye the TV without looking at her, but he kept glancing at her, hoping she wouldn't get mad. She remained so indifferent. Maybe she was asleep.

The news was on. He never watched the news. Then the weather. Snow in the forecast. Connor made a face of disgust. By now, he would have shut the whole thing off, but he was trying to be patience.

Finally, Spencer touched him on the shoulder.

"OK. Lets talk." He whispered, motioning him to come with him to his room.

Connor smirked as if maybe all this would pay off. After Spencer closed the door behind him, he didn't pull his shirt over his head, even if Connor was tempted. Still he collided with Spencer for a kiss, instead. As if that alone was the key. Of course, Spencer kissed him back. He'd missed him too.

"What is this?" Spencer finally pushed him away.

"Why can't I stay?" Connor looked him in the eye.

"Look, I'm just doing a favor for a friend." Spencer dropped to his bed and sat watching Connor who sat next to him as if he were suppose to be close to him.

"Why can't you do me, any favors?" Connor couldn't help but touch his hand, intertwine his fingers with Spencer's.

"Because last time, I didn't think it through." Spencer's solemn eyes looked at him as if he was afraid something might swallow him whole, again.

"What happened last time?" Connor asked. This was the opportune time to get all this out in the open. Just who was the past? Actually, Connor had nothing to tell. Noah didn't count because he just wasn't as easy to get to know, like Spencer. Sure, they dated and it was all so very dating. Connor kept thinking he was doing something wrong. Or maybe it just wasn't meant to be with Noah. It was Spencer who changed everything.

"I dunno if..." Spencer started with a wince but then told him about Bucky and how he thought it was going to be great, but the guy just ended up using him.

" many guys have you been with?" Connor wanted to know.

"Not that many." Spencer shrugged. He told him he'd had sex with someone who bullied him in high school which shocked Connor the most. Connor felt really sad for Spencer as he hugged harder.

 "But I didn't really fall in love with anyone..until I was with Todd, but that didn't go so well." Spencer winced more. "There was Gage. That was perfect." He bit his bottom lip.

Connor wondered what that meant. Honestly, he thought this was as perfect as it could get for him, but he guessed he shouldn't say it.

"Gage got hit by a truck. That changed everything." Spencer festered a frown. "Then, Noah, but it just wasn't quite right. I dunno, who's fault it was. Exactly. It ended ugly. And..well, Bucky..." He sighed. "I kept telling myself, I wasn't really going to get that involved with him. but then I did. He kind of needed me. I kept telling myself..but in the end..maybe..maybe I was just an enabler."

Connor nodded.

"But..but then there's me." He almost smiled. He bit his bottom lip. He hoped they didn't know the same Noah.

"Yeah, and you're young. And happy...and uh, seriously, right now, you want fun. I need more than fun." Spencer told him.

Connor noticed the tears welled in Spencer's eyes.

"But I want more than just fun with you, Spencer. I do," Connor said. "I've hated being in the dorm all year. I want to quit school." Now he felt like having a melt down. "My roommate really hates gays. And..and he has girls over, all the time. I never get to sleep in my room.  I'm afraid to sleep in my room."

"How come you never said this before?" Spencer winced.

"Because,  my roommate is the further-est thing from my mind, when I'm with you." Connor looked down at Spencer's loafers and then his black converses. It was true. Spencer's feet were a lot bigger, but he bet they could share clothes. He wasn't even sure he wanted go back and get anything.

"OK." Spencer gave in. "We'll see how it goes. I don't want, you, quitting school."

"Seriously, you won't regret it. You, won't." Connor bit a grin. He put his arm around Spencer. Of course, when he kissed Spencer, he was already on top of him. Suddenly, he felt like a hyper puppy.


ellie said...

I think I'm liking Connor more.

Cafe Fashionista said...

Connor's not such a bad guy. :)

Sara Gerard said...

Conner is a good guy!

MOSAMUSE said...

ok Connor is good

Street Fashion Paris said...

Connor turns out to be good.