what is it actually

"I don't know what you mean?" Ka-Rad was avoiding eye contact with Lucy who'd opened a bottle of wine that was left over from Christmas. She was drinking from the bottle. "Should you be doing that, right now?"

She shook her head. Her pouty lips kept shut as she took another sip of the red wine that was almost bitter and felt so raw in her throat.

"Please, Lucy, listen to me." He was trying to take the bottle away, but she wouldn't let go. "Fine, drink yourself silly and puke your guts out. That's what will happen, you know."

She was giving him the silent treatment.

"I'm sorry you, and Cory had a fuss, but why is it my fault?" He gave her a glare.

"Because he wants to sleep with me, and he doesn't think its fair, that...you know, we sleep together all the time." She shrugged then as she took another big gulp.

"But he doesn't mean sleep, mind you, now does he?" He hugged himself. He was looking more handsome. His hair pulled back in a pony tail, and he was in a dark button down shirt and a nice red plaid skirt. Kilt, Lucy presumed. It was like he was making an effort to look more of a male than a pansy. "You have to wait. Really, you must. All those diseases out there. How can you possibly understand?"

"You didn't." She blubbered then.

Ka-Rad pressed his lips tight. He had nothing to say about the issue.

She drank more. She felt herself almost convulse as the wine went to her head. She was stumbling. He got the bottle away from her, just in time, for her to fall on him.

"Show me. Show me what you did." She whispered in his ear as if it were a cry for help. It might never ever happen with Cory.

"Christ! What do you want me to do?" Ka-Rad tried to get out, but she kissed his mouth before she almost dropped to the floor. He caught her just to get her to bed.

"Are you going to do it?" She looked at him wide eyed.

He sighed then and looked away, saying nothing. She kissed him madly then as if to press on, on this issue, holding on to him. It wouldn't be right to let it go. She didn't think. He had too. He must. She pressed her mouth against his. It was like sinking in a ocean, yet she wanted to breath him in. Her legs apart, wanting what she had never experienced. Someone had to do it.

"But I want too. I have to know. Please!" She was begging, pushing her thong off. Completely. She wouldn't rest easy until it was on the floor and she had Ka-Rad's hands where she wanted them.

"You're going to throw up." He promised.

"No I won't." She shook her head, no, laying there as if she needed to know this secret. Badly. She waited. Finally the weight of his hand gave way. He was there. Wasn't he?

Suddenly, her eyes went wide. She sucked in a breath, looking up at him, mute, and ever so serious. Was it happening? Positively. Maybe. Slowly, she felt as if something shocked her on the inside, but it wasn't a panic. Just, it was coming. Coming to make sense of her confusion. The very core of her. She closed her eyes so delicately. Yes, yes, she could feel it, quaking ever so delightful through her. It was something. Something for sure. She felt so weak and yet alive.

They kissed as if it were meant to happen. It was happening. It truly had to be. She'd never felt anything quite like it. She slightly moaned. Her legs went weak. A slight shake prevailed. And then it was done.

Her eyes opened with a shock.

"Oh, God," Lucy looked at Ka-Rad. "Did you?"

"No." He winced. "I just fingered you. OK."

She didn't believe him.

"Yes, its true. I didn't fuck you. I didn't." He went to wash his hands then. "Are we done, now?"

Suddenly, it was as if he made her feel  as if she'd just had a visit to the doctor's office.