Sunday, November 21, 2010

on a whim

It was a surprise that he'd walked all this way in the cold and the snow, falling softly.

It all gave Lucy a shiver when she opened the door to find Ka-Rad in the draft of the hallway. Perhaps it was the fact she was keeping to herself, lately. She'd gone to class these days. She just might graduate on time if she kept this up. But then again, she felt as if she was way past the high schooler, even if she was just seventeen.

"What is it?" She was a bit crase. She didn't mean too. Could be hormonal these days.

"Um, just thought I'd stop by." He looked her over, sort of. Maybe not. Something seemed to be on his mind, she thought.

"Listen," He finally got situated once he sat there on his couch brushing the wet snow from his hair.

"What?" She stared at him, thinking he had to know everything was fine. Fine with Cory. Although, they had their laps of not talking. But she was fine with that. Maybe a part of her, didn't want to talk to him. It would just be upsetting. Like now, she didn't want to be upset before there was nothing to be upset about.

She went to put on the electric kettle. It was a good time for tea.

"Its my brother, Craig." Ka-Rad just didn't seem to want to come forth with more than that. He watched her. She didn't want him too. But how could she distract him, really?

"Craig?" She winced.

"I wish he could have the flat." He said very quickly.

"What?" She didn't see this coming.

"Because, its his." Ka-Rad bit his upper lip as if he'd said the worst of it.

"His flat? This studio?" She didn't get it.

"He wanted to travel, you see. Back pack across Europe, some such shit, I don't remember where or what. But he had the cash then." He was quiet as his gaze caught her. She stopped with the cups and tea bags then. "He doesn't now. He needs the place back."

Suddenly, she felt faint. These last few weeks had gone so well. She'd been down to the free clinic about the problem. Well, she didn't get it taken care of, like she thought she would. She'd decided she wouldn't. It was his baby, after all.

"What do you mean?" She was harsh, perhaps. But it was her place.

"You know, what I mean?" He looked at her frantic. "Can't you move in with Cory?"

"NO,  I can't." It was hard being around him as it was. Secrets were hard to keep. But of course, Ka-Rad was oblivious to this. Or was he? He was really looking at her this time. With that squint, it was as if the most horrible thing had happened.

"I see." He didn't look at her then. He turned away. "But he wants it back. Really, I didn't see this coming. I thought he was living the life, or so it seemed. And ..and it was so good to have this peace, without him here, looking over my shoulder, telling me how I was wrong about everything-" He looked back at Lucy. And he thought he might weep.

The kettle sang then and it was time for tea. She got to it, quickly.

Ka-Rad set back on the couch. His eyes were covered with his hands. Hair about his face. She couldn't tell about his reaction.

"So." He looked a bit more brave when she brought him the tea. "How are you? Really?"

Lucy cleared her throat then.

"Fine. Honestly, I am." She gave him a quick smile. Perhaps he pretended to believe her, but she wasn't really sure. His smile was faint, and for a second she thought he might be calculating something entirely different other than her pregnancy.

6 comments:

Cafe Fashionista said...

I feel so bad for Lucy right now - she's in a tough place. :/

autumn said...

That's how I feel for Lucy, too. Sad.

izzy and dev said...

Oh. She should just talk to him, about this.

ellie said...

I really wonder if he knows.

meg said...

Lucy, Lucy, Lucy..you are not.

Cait said...

I just don't know who is more complicated.