Wednesday, July 27, 2011

a moment ago

Spencer's heart beat rushed a bit. Was this what he'd been waiting for with Gage? A sense that Gage knew they belonged together. He'd just about given up on it, in fact. He was beginning to think he'd be a monk from here on out.

"I know this song." Gage's smile lit up as he bopped with the song on the mp3 player that Spencer gave him. Gage laughed sitting in Spencer's kitchen at the table.

Spencer gave Gage a chance to listen through the song, completely. LETS GO SURFING from the Drums.

"Wait a minute." Gage remembered. "I've heard this on the Inbetweeners."

"When did you ever watch the Inbetweeners?" He was talking about a British comedy where someone's pants usually came off. It wasn't even a gay show.

"I dunno. But I remember." He listened to it again.

"Oh." Spencer nodded as if this was just what it was. Starting from scratch. He couldn't yell out something like, "DON'T YOU HAVE ANY FEELINGS FOR ME, ANYMORE!" But he didn't. He went to look in the fridge for something to eat. Seemed that was all he was good for. Cooking something for Gage.

He was so much better. Gage only used a cane to walk. His speech was practically normal. Still some problems with holding a pencil. But there were so many things he could do now. Even swim.

"So..so you like THE DRUMS?" Spencer asked as he got some vanilla ice cream for Gage and squirted some chocolate syrup on top.

"The drums?" He squinted hard as if Spencer somehow lost him with the question.

"The band you're listening too." Spencer explained. He always did his best to explained. He just hoped Gage wasn't offended. It was a bit of trial by error, sometimes. But usually, Gage was congenial about all of it.

"Really? They call themselves THE DRUMS." He laughed as if it were a good joke then. "We liked them? Did we?"

"Yeah, we did." Spencer nodded.

"Do you know them?" He acted as if he wanted Spencer to call them up. As if it would be as easy as going to New York City. Another thing Spence had to explain to Gage, who didn't see why they couldn't just go there in ten minutes, if they could see New York City on the Today show.

Maybe this was Gage now. Childlike and happy. Spencer knew it was best just to look out for him, and nothing else. As sad as that made him feel, he didn't want anyone else to have that job, but him. Only, time was up. He'd taken more than a vacation from his work, down at the art gallery. He needed that job, but he'd put it on hold for some time now.

"You're going to join me, aren't you?" Gage asked about the bowl of ice cream then.

"What?" Spencer was caught off guard.

"You made enough for the both of us." Gage sounded as if Spencer had slaved over a hot stove.

"Sure." Spencer went to get a spoon and sat next to him.

"I don't know why you're so nice to me." Gage looked at him. "You're not my brother. You don't even know my parents."

Spencer wasn't sure how to answer. He could barely put the ice cream in his mouth.

"You know I love you." Spencer said as if that was enough.

"I know. But I don't know why? What did I ever do?" He wanted to know.

"You were just you." Spencer put down his spoon. The taste of the cream made him feel sick. A tear slipped down his cheek.

"I don't want to make you cry." Gage reached to give Spencer a hug. It was awkward and clumsy, but Gage held on. Spencer smelled his scent, slightly of chicken soup and everything comforting he could remember of Gage. But this Gage was full of new memories. Innocent ones. Spencer had to remember this.

5 comments:

meg said...

the sweetest and sadest moment..ever.

She is Sara said...

Wow, this is so bittersweet :(

Cafe Fashionista said...

Awww...my heart is breaking. :(

Holly said...

So emotional..and real.

Lux and Stan said...

Such hard times!