Sarah went into a massive coughing fit. She looked bad. The way her hand was on her chest looked as if she should call the doctor, right now. But she was in her gown. Standing almost in the livingroom, but maybe on her way to the kitchen for some thing hot or even cold to drink.
"Just go back to bed." Spencer told her. The baby was crying and he went to Jake before Sarah had a chance to stop him.
"I should have never gone to Ezra's house." She winced hard.
"See if you can make yourself an appointment. Jake will be fine with me." Spencer could hardly believe he said it.
She only nodded and went back to the bedroom. Spencer had Jake all to himself. Immediately the baby grabbed on to his finger and looked up at Spencer as if he were pleased someone he knew was in his grasp for play.
"We better change you." It was a rule now. Check the pamper first. So he did in the diaper changing station in the livingroom. It was off to the side. You could look up to see what was on the TV. Spencer was getting fast at this since Jake had a way of getting his attention fast if a mad tinkle caught his chest.
"Better?" Spencer asked as he held up Jake in his new pamper with his sleeper half unbuttoned. Jake went to the whiskers on his face first thing.
"Well, at least some one likes my beard." Spencer was pleased that Jake noticed. Noah wouldn't mention it. Of course, Noah still had his place. Usually, he was over every Friday and sometimes he'd stay until Sunday.
Perhaps it was working out. Both were getting what they wanted. Spencer guessed. Still he drew a blank when his dad would call and ask about his boyfriend. Spencer would say "Who?" His Dad couldn't remember Noah's name, either.
It was cruel to think he'd wanted it this way with Noah. Yet, it was kind of like going through the motions. Or was it? Spence hated to admit it, but he was happy to have someone to have sex with. Yet as fast and furious as it went like a quick thunder storm, it was nothing compared to what he felt right now, holding a baby, giving it a bottle. Its pure essences was golden. He was sure he could give up having a lover, and just be someone's parent. It was so genuine and good.
He felt sure he could give that sort of love to any child, perhaps. It wouldn't matter of its color. Just a baby. He supposed. It really took him by surprise. Honestly, he didn't want it to happen. Not this kind of addiction. Spencer knew it now, that he'd always wanted a family he'd never had. And he guessed this was a close as he'd get to one. Yet, he wondered if that was enough.