Monday, July 23, 2012

slowly as we go

"What are you, insinuating?" Ezra squinted hard, as he was putting the groceries away. It was as if Sarah had an epiphany about his mother at the grocery store.

"I do not want to move into her house." Sarah said straight forward.

"But-" He caught his breath. He felt the need to contribute something. "OK, so its a little rundown. She ..she hasn't had the money for the up keep."

"What makes you think, you can fix it?" She stared at him point blank.

"I could do it." He shrugged without thinking what all there was really to do.

"But, you shouldn't have to." She watched him carefully put away the canned goods as she slid the eggs in the fridge. "You..I know, you haven't had an episode in a very long time, still..." Sarah shook her head.

Now she doubted him. All he could do was stare back at her. This was because of the epilepsy. She needed someone she could trust. Who was much more safer than he'd ever be. He festered a frown the more he thought about it. It was true. He was not good enough. That was why this was the very long engagement that might go on for years, and it wouldn't be a comedy. At this rate, Jake would be in high school and hopefully his best man.

"I get it." His glare was ready to explode. Maybe if he said they were over, and he left it would be best for her. But he'd miss this so much. This was where home was now. Where ever Sarah and the baby were.

He went to the bathroom, slammed the door shut. Ezra gritted hard as he wanted to pound something. Like smash the mirror in front of him, but he caught himself before he could do it.

"Ezra, please, its not like that. It isn't. I know we both deserve better than..an old house. All right. We really do." Sarah was outside the bathroom door. "You know, my parents want to help."

"Well, we're not even married." He brought up. "It'll be..your house." The jobs he had weren't big. Little part-time ones that hardly let him have a night off.

"Ezra, you know, I want to marry you." She told him. Jake was starting to cry. Ezra jerked the door open as if he couldn't bare to upset the baby.

He blinked tears, but took the baby from her. He didn't want to bring up anymore of the past. It wouldn't do either of them any good. He was holding the future. There was no need to hang on to the past, his mother's house that needed new windows, even the pluming was bad. Lord knows, when the last time the lawn was mowed.

6 comments:

The Many Colours of Happiness said...

I can see both of their points of view...it's a tricky situation

MOSAMUSE said...

aawww i feel bad for Ezra :(
xo
MOSAMUSE

Cafe Fashionista said...

Poor Ezra. :(

Sara said...

Poor Ezra, he is too hard on himself!

caitlin and megan said...

I think they belong together.

Clara Turbay said...

it´s complicated!