like the first time

Jess knew it was coming. But she didn't know when. Nor how to be prepared for it. Exactly. If she were, she wouldn't be here. She'd hate to overact. Miscalculate, Roco.

Hey, what if he really was a good guy?

She thought about it on her third shot of Tequila. He'd been nice. Evidently, it was she who made him so bad. She knew it. This heaved in and out of her like a very bad breath that she'd have to cough up to get rid of, or drink more Tequila.

Just how was she going to get through the night?

She looked around. And that's when she saw him.

Craig.

Immediately, she couldn't let him exactly look at her. He would know. She turned her back to him, hoping he didn't notice her in the dark. Besides, there was a show to watch if he turned toward the red stage.

She couldn't bare the thought of their encounter. The questions he'd ask. Her logic. Jess burned another drink down and looked over her shoulder.

No Craig. Maybe she was imagining it. Just like the idea that he might care. He might want to be with her.

She closed her eyes. He was too good to be true. But...

Just once, she'd like to know what it would be like. To be with him.

Except, he was a man of few words. She knew too many men like that. Why would she want to even go down that road? Besides, she'd been quite a snot. As if he might like that in a woman.

Jess shivered as if an illness was coming over her. Yes, she was sick of Craig. Sick at looking at that scowl of his. Even though, parts of him were pretty impressive.. in spite of knowing the brute she knew, who was a lot like climbing a massive redwood after a long day at work.

Just once she wanted to get what she wanted. She would make the most of it. She would.

Just imagine she kept telling herself. Just imagine.

But it wasn't a body, well fit with tight abs and taunt limbs. No, this was somewhere else. A nice house in a safe neighborhood. Someone who put their arm around you to keep you from the cold. To protect you from the unknown.

Tears surfaced. She hadn't meant to cry.

When she felt him pull back her arm and the fake furry coat slip back exposing her weak shoulder, she knew she deserved it. She knew she did, but it didn't make it any easier. It always felt like the first time, even if that were months ago.